Weird Encounters at the Grove

As those of you who live in LA can attest, every trip to the Grove/Farmer's Market is a lesson in patience and a literal fount of potential adventure. The Hollywood "They" are frequently filming/shopping/eating there. Tourists are taking pictures in front of the Apple store as though they've never seen a giant iPhone before. Like the one in the mall in the town where they live. This weekend, Chad (Mr. Jack-O-Lantern/Perfect Man)and I were tolling down it's brick, car-free streets when something out of the ordinary even by Grove Standards occurred. We were making our way to the Cheesecake Factory for Sunday Brunch (it only happens once a week) so we were deep in discussion about the wonders that awaited us. Or we were talking about flatware; I can't really remember. Anyway, suddenly, we both hear someone yelling my name behind us. It was VERY crowded and at first I thought this person was talking to someone else. But it was REALLY loud, so I turned around. A middle-aged man with several small children surrounding him was reaching toward us (he was about 20 feet away) and when I turned around, he waved. I'm quite certain now that I have never seen that man before in my life and that he was, in fact, yelling my name at ME. I was quite taken aback by it when it occurred and since I did not recognize him, I just thought it was a coincidence. I turned around and kept walking. Chad said, "Who was that?" I said, "I have no idea." Then we were quiet for a minute. Then I said, "Who the fuck was that?!" And we both laughed. Why didn't I find out who it was? He clearly recognized me. My behavior in that situation made absolutely no sense. Chad did an alarmingly accurate impression of me blowing that guy off and said if it was someone I knew, he would surely now think I was a bitch and probably tell everyone so. It was so bizarre. I keep thinking of that guy's face and truly cannot place him anywhere. I very rarely forget faces. I can't think of another instance in my life where someone has known me well enough to call out my name in a crowded outdoor mall and I have absolutely no recollection of who the hell they are. The only logical explanation is that I was having a Fringe moment, and, somehow, my universes briefly collided. The next time I post something here, it will probably be edited because I'll be working for the FBI.
If that ever happens again, I am definitely going to figure out who it is before I make a beeline for eggs benedict.

Cable and Candy

It's already Nov. 5th?!?! If you haven't already, you'd better pay your rent today. Is it sad that is the first thing I think of when it's the 5th of the month. I have been living without cable or internet in my home for approximately two weeks now. It is very difficult and I frequently don't know what to do with myself. I've supplemented my online TV viewing during work hours with watching DVDs of Seinfeld at night. It's like I'm living in 1994. At least then we had an analog signal. Luckily for me, the situation should be resolved tomorrow morning. If I can't watch the season finale of Mad Men on my own TV, I'm not sure what's going to happen. Other than the cable debacle of 2009, I am quite enjoying living by myself. I think it's really working for me. The time change also helped as it is now much easier to get up early enough to do my little yoga videos before work. I've taken to making oatmeal for breakfast. It's all coming together, people. We'll see how long it lasts. To counteract all this positivity, one of my employers brought in an enormous bag of candy leftovers from his childrens' Halloween activities. It is sitting right in front of my desk and it is filled with Reese's Peanut Butter Cups. Disaster. I've eaten so many that I'm going to have to blame it on the night cleaning crew. Of course, said employer is home today because one of the kids has swine flu. So, not only will this chocolate make me fat, it's probably crawling with H1N1. Fantastic.

Moving in

Oh boy!! The 4th move in the last 6 months is nearing completion. Sweet relief. Let's all keep our fingers crossed that this one sticks for a bit. I don't think that my complexion can take any more stress. I've done this one almost entirely on my own with the assistance of professional movers. Just need a man to help me hang a bitch of a floating shelf. Luckily, I have one lined up. And he comes with his own drill. Hopefully he can also repair the mess I've made of the drapery rod in the living room. After two whole days of living on my own, I think it's safe to say that I enjoy it. I am slightly neurotic so once all unpacking is finished and photos are on the walls, I believe I will be able to take it down a notch. I'm going to purchase a new television set this evening after work. I tried to do that last night, but, apparently, Best Buy doesn't think that I deserve 18 months of no interest financing. This begs the questions - Who do they think they are? As a show of spite, I was going to make my electronics purchase elsewhere, but it turns out, they have the best deals I can find right now, so I have to go back there. Make a note - if you are going to move and buy a new TV, ignore common sense and buy the TV first before your credit gets checked a bunch of times. I suppose this doesn't apply to people who have loads of cash to throw around, but if you enjoy using credit as much as I do, you'll heed this advice. Long story endless, ideally the new digs will be in complete working order in approximately 1-1 1/2 weeks, depending on several variables.
Here's something weird - prior to moving in to this new place, I learned that it is actually the former apartment of a friend who recently moved to Boston. Crazy! I had no idea it was her old place when I looked at it, but when I described it to one of our mutual friends, he said - I think that's Tracy's old place. And via Facebook, it was confirmed that it indeed was. Love it.
Last night Catherine and Chad came over and craved pumpkins. I observed. Chad is some kind of jack-o-lantern savant. He didn't even use a pencil to outline first! Amazing. Further evidence that he is the perfect man.

Terrible Headshots - Vol. 2

How do you like me now? I'm about to blow your mind!

Rainy day

It's been raining in LA for the past few days. Apparently what constitutes normal weather in most places causes catastrophic disaster here. I would estimate that it rained about two inches. People were running their cars into one another, roofs were caving in, events were canceled, no one actually did anything productive. If the big one ever hits, we are going to be the first ones to go. We can't function IN THE RAIN. This does not bode well. I understand that mudslides are a concern, but beyond that, this city needs to get a grip. Granted, it has been so long since I turned my windshield wipers on, I forgot where they were, but it only took me about 10 seconds to figure it out. I saw 3 car accidents during my commute today which took about twice as long as usual each way.
I'm about to sign a lease on a new apartment. I don't know if I can stay with these people for another year. Soft, spoiled, envious. Those are the words I would use to describe this place. I have never been one to be too materialistic, but in the course of looking for this new apartment, the shift officially took place. For some reason, I feel as though I deserve to live in a 4 bedroom house overlooking the ocean with palm trees outside my bedroom window and a wrap around deck. Why doesn't my $1200 a month get me that? I feel like I've been cheated in some way.
My very kind new landlady was giving me a tour of the apartment and she told me that she has a few tenants who have lived there for over a decade. I think she meant this to be a selling point. So, although this apartment has hardwood floors and a little balcony and is on the top floor and has a gated parking space and plenty of room for all my furniture and pink tiles in the bathroom, I have been focusing on the fact that I may end up living in a little one bedroom apartment by myself in West Hollywood for the rest of my life. I can't even be a cat lady as the building does not allow pets. Maybe I could be the hamster lady. My living room could just be filled with those plastic yellow tubes and they could run around all day.
This is what 2 inches of rain after 8 months of sunshine does to you. This is what LA does. It gives you just enough to want more and not enough to feel comfortable.

Terrible Headshots - Vol. 1

If one of your friends shows you a headshot that looks anything like either of these and asks you what you think - please, be a friend, tell them the truth.

Yoga and Chinese

I have the overwhelming urge to have spaghettios for lunch. But, I'm not going to do it as I am supposed to be on this diet for at least 30 days. I think I'm only on day 14 or so and I fucked it up a bit this weekend already. Have to get back on track. I have been going to yoga classes at Golden Bridge for the past few weeks. My lovely friend went with me yesterday and made the astute observation that the people there are "really into it." Seriously, they are REALLY into it. There's lots of turbans and tapestry going on. I do feel great after the classes, though, so they must be onto something. Unfortunately, yesterday's yoga class was followed by doing nothing all day then ordering Chinese food. Geez. Nope, nope, nope. Try again.